Life is full of moments where we find ourselves discussing a topic with a hushed voice or shoving a thought into the quietest and darkest place in our minds. When we think of these thoughts, sometimes we may find ourselves saying, “Not here. Not right now.” In some cases, it may feel like there is never the right time or place to explore these thoughts.
I have often found that when we try to regulate the places or times that we allow ourselves to think certain thoughts, we begin to see divisions of our identity. For example, many of us bring different versions of ourselves to our different experiences or events in our lives, depending on the perceived expectation or norm. These versions may look like a ‘dating self’, a ‘parent self’, a ‘religious self’, a ‘sexual self’, a ‘private most authentic self’, and/or a ‘public persona self’, etc.
I strongly believe that authenticity is crucial for fully integrated and healthy lives. To silence authenticity fragments the different elements of the human experience; to silence authenticity may demand that people make clear distinctions between their emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual selves. Simply stated, to silence authenticity is a death sentence: death of the spiritual self, the intellectual self, the emotional self, and can sometimes lead to a death of the physical self.
My passion in therapy is to help create a safe space to explore thoughts, feelings, or conversations that may not feel as welcomed in other spaces. Specific topics of interests include LGBTQ+ issues (including family adjustment to news of LGBTQ+ family members); spirituality and faith issues; work around non-monogamous or non-vanilla relationships; and working with children and adolescents around difficult changes or transitions (death, divorce, moving, etc.).
The road to unifying all of our identities in the various places we occupy may be long and rocky, but my goal is to at least create a therapeutic space where we can unpack and sit in the presence of some of those thoughts that we have worked so hard to keep separate. My hope is that by creating safe spaces to explore these topics, my clients will be able to more fully live their best life, however they may define it.
