It is easy to lose our way in life and forget to take time for ourselves to reflect and regroup. In our fast and chaotic life the one person we too often forget to think about is our own self.
Although I am a therapist, I also find that I struggle with being able to be reflective on my own journey. In this blog, I want to tell you a bit about my own self. As an Indian woman and a therapist, I believe my unique walk through life thus far truly informs my work.
I was born in the city Jaipur, which is in the state of Rajasthan, a north western state in India. My birthplace Jaipur is famous around the world with the name Pink City, and is listed among the world’s best settled cities. It’s famous for its rich history of the Rajput Dynasty, which was consider as the warrior caste in India, and my ancestral legacy too. Hence being a Rajput Girl I inherited fearlessness, and was determined to break the cultural and stereotypical expectations of a girl child.
With my many ambitions, I have always known that I wanted to work with women and with girls in the child welfare system. But I didn’t know where to start. I grew up seeing strong, intelligent women around me who were learners as well as dedicated to their family lives as mother and wife. My mother Dr. Alka Singh was an inspiration for my professional goals as she taught me that a woman IS capable of having a career, as well as having a wholesome family with kids, responsibilities, and other expectations. She shared her journey with me and I was determined to follow her path. She taught me how education becomes a power for you, and with hard work you can make anything possible.
My father, Dr. V. S. Shekhawat, has also been an inspiration in my journey. He nurtured my mind with the wisdom he gained through his life. He was born in a remote village in the midst of the Great Indian Desert. He grew up seeing the oppression of women all around him– something that was built into our societal insitutions and customs. However, he believed that women possess immense strength and that they can make a significant and promising contribution to the world. He always supported my mother, brother, and me in our quest to find ourselves educationally and professionally. I learned to value the welfare of my clients through observing my father’s work as a doctor. His approach with his patients was always genuine, empathetic, respectful and gentle which allowed him to quickly build rapport and provide for them the best treatment possible. These are all important components of my work with clients.
While in grade school, I got my first exposure to the changes that came about from therapeutic intervention. Watching the work of our school psychologist, I observed the change which slowly but significantly came in students, teachers, as well as parents. I began to see the same school psychologist to help me figure out how to mark out my own career path. It was the very first time I had experienced a safe private and personal space for myself as an individual to explore my issues without feeling judgement or fear of retaliation. I felt supported, and guided. I experienced the magic of psychotherapy and counseling.
Eventually I realized that I want to be there for people in the community to help them adjust in their lives, realize their full potential, and most importantly heal as individuals. My school psychologist became a mentor for me. The very first thing he did was to take me to the Mother Teresa Home next to our school to gain wisdom about the suffering in our community as well as altruistic efforts from human beings in relieving the pain. People were helping by providing shelter, care, and protection without marginalizing anyone on the basis of gender, caste, status, or color. He taught me that if you can connect with the pain of others you will be a good therapist. This added a philanthropic approach to my work as well. My goal is to ensure that access to mental health care is not a significant barrier financially and can be prioritized as a basic need and not a luxury or privilege.
I completed my Undergraduate Degree as Psychology as my major, and eventually completed my Master’s in Clinical Psychology specialization from India. While working in India, I learned the importance of the therapeutic relationship. I also observed the ignorance around the importance of mental health care for girls in the society. Eventually I integrated my dissertation research on Counseling and Mental Health Care in Meeting the Needs of Adolescent Girls.
In my approach towards my female clients, I try to ensure psychoeducation for them about their physical, and psychological needs as well as mental health toolbox techniques so that the women I work with learn to take care of themselves.
During my research in Counseling Psychology I felt an urge to travel, and gain education from international institutions. My elder brother who then had become a Biotech Scientist in Chicago and encouraged me to join him. Though there are many institutional and academic barriers to making a move like this happen, I was able to. This was truly an overwhelming time of life! Thankfully, in June 2012 I received acceptance in my dream course and university, MS in Rehabilitation and Mental Health Counseling at Illinois Institute of Technology, Chicago, Illinois, USA. I got my Visa and prepared for my journey…
Then something unexpected happened. I was awarded with a Gold Medal in Counseling Psychology by AMITY University Rajasthan, India! I felt indebted to my faculty and family for the achievement but I also felt a sense of responsibility that I have to give back to my community, and have faith in my abilities. I felt a choking feeling as I realized it’s time to fly and leave the nest.
In that moment, when you’re flying abroad to start a life in a whole new country to pursue your long term goals, it seems like you are leaving behind your past life. It feels like you are saying goodbye to your safe community of friends, faculties, relatives, and most importantly parents. My parents only told me one thing: go and never look back, have faith in your upbringing, and never lose your Indian values. With that I boarded my flight, with tears in my eyes, which soon turned into feelings of freedom, ambition, passion, and fearlessness of a young woman setting out to make a mark in the world.
On August 13th 2012, I came to Chicago, USA, which I identify as my birth place in the USA. It will be a whole other blog to write about my experience as an international student and as a therapist. But my education in Rehabilitation and Mental Health Counseling with specializations in Psychiatry Rehabilitation, and Rehabilitation Engineering Technology gave me knowledge into the clinical diagnosis and symptomatology of various psychological issues people experience. Counseling and psychotherapy training gave me skills to provide effective interventions which suit client’s unique needs; and rehabilitation training helped me in drafting a holistic intervention plan for my clients ensuring their readjustment in their life areas, roles, expectations, and goals with enhancement in their quality of life and self-esteem.
Currently, I am pursuing my doctoral studies at University of Louisville in their Counseling Program, with a Specialization in Counselor Education and Supervision. My personal experiences as a Mental Health Professional and training in supervision has been helpful in providing quality services to my clients. My nonjudgmental approach, and openness to all human beings coming from different life areas, communities, racial and sexual identities made me realize that the higher power has looked after me and gave me the appropriate platform to grow further as a professional. I realize my goal for community welfare through quality mental health care, and ensuring that everyone is deserving of having a Best Life.
Continue to follow me on this journey, as I learn on how to cope with the traditional expectations of an Indian Women, while also helping other women cope in an American society.
I encourage all of you to make your mental health and yourself a priority, and reach out for productive and healthy change in your life. Wish you all a very Happy New Year 2021. May this new year bring mental peace, good health, and growth for all.
Thank you!
Shipra Singh, MS, CRC, LPCA
Department of Counseling and Human Development
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky.
