Last week, Christian Academy of Louisville created an assignment to write a letter to a friend who may be dealing with “homosexual thoughts.” I completed the assignment.
Dear Friend,
I have been asked to write you this letter. Normally, I enjoy writing letters. I would love to ask you about your hobbies and your loved ones, to share a silly anecdote, and perhaps a soul affirming smile or two.
Today, this letter comes as an assignment. I was instructed to write this letter to you by a concerned party. As I read over this assignment, I began to understand the concerns. I have a few concerns and worries myself. (I am also reminded that worry can often be a verb of love.)
Your school administration would like for me to write you a letter regarding your sexuality. I must admit, after almost 30 years of being a student, this is a new assignment for me. I’m not sure if your Principle watched a TikTok and got scared, or perhaps they were just looking for an assignment to fill the week’s quota. Regardless of the intention for this task, here I am, typing this letter in love to you.
You may be feeling big thoughts at the moment. You also may be hearing a lot of big talk about ‘right’ vs ‘wrong’, ‘heaven’ vs ‘hell’, or my personal favorite, ‘Sacred’ vs. ‘secular’. You may have a lot of questions at the moment. Questions such as:
“Is there something wrong with my body?”
“Did God make a mistake? Am I supposed to be here?”
“If I can’t be all of me, authentically, can any of me exist?”
“Would the world be easier and happier if I just checked out early?” (Eric loudly yells, “NOOOOOOOOO!”)
“How could so much rejection and fear come from people who claim a faith of bold, radical love and creation?”
I am here with all of the love and brain power that this 33-year-old, Master’s educated and Seminary Trained Therapist has to offer. Here is what I need to tell you:
You were divinely created. You are created just as you were supposed to be. You are not a mistake. You are supposed to be here.
As a person of faith, I am always fascinated by an idea I was taught at the wee age of 5 years old; we are all created in God’s image. As a curious kiddo who loved learning, this idea fascinated me. The OG God, THE creator, created us in their image. I remember thinking about all of the oceans, mountains, valleys, and deserts; every plant, fungus, and bacterial culture; every atom, every element on the periodic table, all created by a Divine Creator. And in the midst of that creation, God created humanity in their image.
This notion astounds me. I am a proud, fierce nerd. My muscles may not be winning any Olympic trials in my lifetime, but my brain! Oh, my brain is my favorite muscle. I love having the ability to hold abstract thoughts in my head. This ability helps me conceptualize the human experience at work, allowing me to meet people where they are in their life’s journey, and to help them navigate through. This same brain also helps me play with music or throw my entire body into theatre, finding the unique bits of music that are impossible to capture with written words or sheet music alone.
Not to brag, but my brain is a pretty good one. According to Western Standards of intelligence, this may be my greatest strength as a human. And even with all of this nerdy excitement, there is absolutely no possible way that I could have a definitive answer about how the entire world works. Nope. As a good scientist, I very rarely say things with certainty, because often, I can’t be 100% sure. With every once of commitment in my body, I believe that it is physically and spiritually impossible for any human being to have every answer about this world. The world is far too big and our human brains are far too small. It can’t be done.
But maybe that’s not the point. If we look at scripture from both the Old and New Testament, (as well as other sacred texts), I often find a God or Creator of mystery. I envision a creative, mysterious Creator, often a baker. I imagine the Creator baking sacred batches, all from different recipes. Some recipes require kneading, some resting, others heat. In the midst of all of this action and change, something beautiful emerges. Every recipe is sacred.
When I think about this Creator, I am presented with my spiritual calling; I am called to boldly and radically love all of Creation. I believe we all are. Sometimes our differences may be perceived as dangerous, and yes, change is almost always a bit scary. I am also reminded of my sacred, embodied lessons of ethics, morals, and love that I have gathered along my journey in my communities of faith. This is the faith that guides my hands as I write this letter to you.
You may be experiencing “homosexual thoughts,” and if you are, I am here to tell you that’s completely normal. It may not always feel that way if someone is reacting in fear or anger, but I can assure you, I have the data to prove it. Exploring gender and sexuality is one of the fundamental tasks of young adulthood. This is when we begin to imagine building our own future, building our home, our community, and our various families. You are called to imagine and create the world you would like to leave behind when your time on this earth is done.
You are right where you are supposed to be. You are loved, and though it may not feel like it, there is so much love and support waiting for you in this world. It may be a riddle getting there, especially if you are currently sitting in a middle school desk, realizing how little control you may have in your day. Your favorite teacher; your first love; your role model; they are all out there, waiting to meet you. You may not ever know of them yet, but I assure you, they are there and their love is bold and strong.
In the midst of this journey, someone may have mentioned “Hell”, perhaps combined with a strange clairvoyant concern that your name may be on Hell’s list. May I offer this perspective:
After working in mental health for 13 years, I don’t have much use for Heaven and Hell as final destinations. These destinations are incredibly difficult to visit, as death is often a requirement for entry. By the time I visit either place, my feedback may not be so helpful for those still alive.
However, I have learned about Heaven and Hell through my work as a therapist. I think of heaven and hell as processes, not places, and they exist on this earth. Many of my clients know both quite well. I have learned that Hell is believing that you are unworthy or irredeemable, that perhaps you were created in error. Hell is fearing that there is no action you could take that could redeem your biggest flaws or fears. Stripping away someone’s human connection and authenticity is perhaps one of the cruelest things we can do to the human spirit.
With this idea, Heaven becomes pretty simple. Heaven is where or when you know that you are enough. Heaven is feeling divinely connected to all creation, knowing that you were created for your own, unique, mysterious purpose, and you deserve to be here. It is your Creator Given Right to be here. You are enough, and you are loved.
As a child of creation, you deserve Heaven. You deserve authentic, affirming love. Please don’t allow the winds in the valley to extinguish your divine light. Your journey is far from over, and there are oh so many sources of love out there. You will get through this. This too shall pass. (And if you need assistance until then, please know that there are folks waiting to help you find the peace and love you deserve.)
Much love,
Eric
Eric Sharp, LMFT
Director of Education & Programming
Best Life Mental Health Services, LLC
P.S. This is a wonderful time to announce that I am currently accepting clients, with a focus on LGBTQ+ issues. For more information, call (502) 333-9466 or schedule a consultation here.
